Hi Nao Mih,
I am asking if it is right to tap my fiancee’s phone. I have this feeling that she’s having an affair outside of our relationship. I am being mentally tortured by this awkward feeling, but I want to find out the truth.
Can I do it? Please help and keep it anonymous. Thanks.
Hello there,
The answer is no. It is not the right thing to do.
First, it is because you’ll be invading her privacy, something she wouldn’t be comfortable with if she were to find out.
Secondly, that will only escalate the problem instead of solving it. You are likely to misinterpret the information you manage to tap. This may create more distrust between the two of you.
It sounds like it would be easier for you to “steal” her phone from her when she’s asleep, unlock it, and check every place for evidence. Or do you want to employ a skilled hacker to break into her social media accounts? To me, that is a very bad idea.
Lack of communication and problems with intimacy might be among the reasons why you want to tap your partner’s phone. Perhaps the reason why you can’t face her with this is that you are insecure and are afraid that your lady might think you are a weak and jealous man.
And what if nothing like that is happening? Your woman might not be giving you any reasons to doubt her, you may just be paranoid.
Did you ever date a liar or a cheater before? Maybe you’re carrying the pain and betrayal into this “new” relationship. You’re bringing this irrational fear that she is not really honest or committed to you.
As a matter of fact, if you don’t trust her, you’ll find multiple reasons to track her every movement. It won’t be the phone anymore. You’ll start following her around all the time, which is, of course, not healthy for you and the relationship.
Don’t let this ruin what you’ve worked so hard to build. Take time to talk to your queen about what is eating you up. If she’s cheating, you’ll easily learn from her non-verbal cues or later own when things unfold.
If she’s loyal, she’ll be open to you and iron out any doubts or even provide proof to win your trust. And her phone will probably be used for maybe taking a selfie to light you up.
Naomi Makassi, a Rongo University graduate from Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, is passionate about helping young adults build successful relationships through her writing.
