Hi,
My name is Nick. My friend Ann wants to move in and stay with me for a while as she sorts her things out. My house has two bedrooms and I don’t mind giving one room to help a friend. There’s nothing between me and her. Is this appropriate? Kindly advise.
Hello Nick,
There are many people out here who think that a guy and a girl can’t just be friends. Contrary to the popular belief, a girl and a guy can just be friends and nothing more so long as you both have a platonic understanding of each other. There are friends who’ve grown to be family and they always come through any time you need them. Like you here, you want to help a friend who’s in need.
Helping Ann depends on who she really is; is she a rational being or just a character in a sitcom? If she’s rational, that means she only needs a place to stay, as a friend and nothing more.
The question now is, do you want to live with her? Are your habits compatible or you’d start to drive each other down the wall after a couple of weeks and/or months? Do you have similar ideas about cleanliness and money? Do you have similar lifestyles in terms of how sociable you’d like to be in your own home? If not, are you likely to be bothered by your friend being more or less sociable than you? Rational human being or just a character in a sitcom.
You need to know that there’s no guarantee that the nature of your relationship will or won’t change over time should you choose to live together. And there’s also no guarantee that if your relationship does change, it’ll be for the better or closer.
Admittedly, things won’t be the same especially when you start being comfortable with each other. You may cross the friendship lane thinking that you know each other better than any other person. This may ruin your friendship. But, it also depends on who you’re as people and how you treat each other as roommates.
It’s also important to understand the ramifications of a live-in situation and then take a call if you’d like to live or not. Irrespective of how you start, you’re most likely to get involved with her and this means there’s a potential that things may turn out messy in future.
Do you have a girlfriend? What’s her take on you living under the same roof with another girl? However much your girl trusts you, there will always be questions in her mind. What if she decides to move in with you? Are you ready to start a family? Remember, no girl will want to get involved with a man who’s already living with another woman and who’s not his mother or sister under the same roof.
If you decide to help her, think if it’s worth it and know how long she’ll be staying at your place. The fact that she has asked you means that she trusts you and I hope you trust her too. No ulterior motives. Talk to her about what she’s going through and if you’d decide to let her, I’d suggest you help get on her feet as soon as possible before things turn south.
Everything depends on you and every decision you make today has its own consequences.
Best of wishes in your friendship!
Naomi Makassi, a Rongo University graduate from Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, is passionate about helping young adults build successful relationships through her writing.