Valentine’s Day can be extremely demanding, despite its sole purpose of expressing love to a loved one. The fact that this red day is morphed into a day of exchanging gifts makes it even worse.
People show love to their partners in different ways. It is an upper hand if you know the love language of your partner. You could be busy gifting her, yet her love language is quality time.
It can be an easy ride for couples who have been together for quite some time to know the right button to press on Valentine’s Day. On the flip side, it can be hard to know if really you are his or her Valentine’s.
The polyamorous nature of the current generation is alarming. It is not a surprise that most people who have been in a relationship (or so they thought) will find themselves single on 14th.
But why is that so? You might wonder.
There will always be signs beforehand that will be enough red flags to know you are not their Valentine’s.
1. He goes silent without a reason
Men sometimes need their lone time. But not when Valentine’s day is knocking on the door, harshly.
One of the reasons a guy might go silent on you when Valentine’s is near is because there is someone else in the frame. There is another lady who will take the priority position. He is obviously going to curve you on Valentine’s, and that is just one of his best strategies.
A man might also choose to go mute because he doesn’t have the money to spoil you. He’d rather let the silence speak than explaining to you his financial pothole.
2. She doesn’t mention Valentine’s to you
Ladies are known to be eager for this day. They will pull all stunts to get your attention and make you jog your mind on what to buy for her on that day.
However, if a lady doesn’t throw any signals nor make any efforts to rub the Valentine’s hullabaloo on your face, just know there is another guy ‘marinating’ your woman.
3. He keeps talking about ‘Men’s Conference‘
To be honest, there is nothing like Men’s Conference. It is just an escape goat for men to skive Valentine’s.
Your man might come with all types of stories to defend Men’s Conference, just so you may not bring demands for Valentine’s. Also, the so called Men’s Conference could just be an excuse for him to go spend the day with his side chick – who apparently thinks she’s the main.
4. She says she’ll be busy on Valentine’s
She’ll probably tell you she is going to visit her mom or her grandma somewhere in Shitswitswi. Being a gentleman that you are, you will finance her transport just to compensate for the Valentine’s Day.
In the realest sense, the lady had other plans of meeting with her other man. Of course, she won’t tell you she is going to meet another man. She knows if she says she is going to see her mom, you won’t ask questions.
Son of man, if she tells you she’ll be busy on Valentine’s Day, just find other plans. You’ll sort the break up later.
5. He cares less
The fact that your man has never taken you out for a date nor bought you a gift, shows that he won’t even bother to do anything on Valentine’s.
You will spend the day like any other day. He won’t care, neither will he be bothered. Furthermore, Valentine’s doesn’t mean anything to such a man. He probably has other things that he gives priority, and love is not among them. He automatically won’t be your Valentine’s.
6. She starts posting her photos on her status
Ladies know men’s weaknesses. It’s a skill they have mastered very well. They know that when they post a photo or a video of them doing nothing but just leaking their lips, an idle man will automatically jump into her inbox and break an ice.
It is invariably an intentional gesture. The men will parade words like ‘cute’, ‘beautiful’, ‘nakuona lini?’ and such like abunwasi narratives. She will entertain them, of course she will. And one of them will get a chance to take her on a date or get her under the sheets.
So, the moment you see her posting countless photos of herself on her status, count her as gone.
Relationships are never smooth. There will always be ups and downs. You might be loyal to your lover, but that will not always be the case on reciprocal.
There is always a lady on the edge waiting for a chance. Likewise, there is always a man waiting to pounce on your woman.
Valentine’s Day is a day to express that love to your partner. It could be through gifts, through a date, vacation or through coitus.
Any of these works, depending on the type of bond the two of you have.
Have the Valentine’s conversations with your partner before the day. Ask them their expectations so that you may see if any of the aforementioned signs show up. It will save you time, embarrassments and disappointments. Happy Valentine’s Day in advance!
Ian Elroy Ogonji is a journalist and editor for the Western Kenya Times. He has published work in The Star Newspaper, The Standard, Business Insider South Africa among others.