Hello Nao Mih
My boyfriend wants to take me home in December to meet his parents and family. We’ve been dating for two years now. I want to ask, how should I dress and behave? How long should I stay there, considering I am not yet his wife, and above all, is it wise to visit his home before he visits my own parents?
Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a great way to take your relationship to another level. But if the idea of meeting his parents makes you shiver, then know that you’re not alone! While it can feel nerve-wracking, there’s no need to worry. You’ve been together for some time now, and if he wants to take you home, then that means that he wants you to be a part of his family.
Carry out some research
Before you visit his parents, get background information from your boyfriend. Ask him what his parents are like, what they do, if they are super strict or if they like to joke and have fun. Having background information will help you be confident and have knowledge about what you’ll talk about when you meet up.
You can ask your boyfriend about some good conversation topics and also about his culture. If it’s different from yours, then there are rules that you need to learn before you visit.
Dress for the occasion, but don’t overdo it
Meeting them for the first time can be nerve-wracking, but wearing the right outfit can give a great first impression while giving you confidence. The most important thing is to wear clothing that’s respectful and still be you. Avoid clothes that show too much skin, ripped jeans, or anything short that you wear on a night out because you’ll look too informal. If you don’t know, ask your boyfriend to help, ’cause he knows his family more than you do.
If you have tattoos and piercings, it’s up to you whether you want to cover them or leave them. If you’re not sure, ask him how his parents will feel about them. But remember, first impressions are lasting impressions, so you’ll want to look your finest and represent yourself in the best way possible.
Carry a small gift for them
On your first day, make sure you bring a small gift. It’s a nice gesture. Give them when you arrive. It’s a nice touch and will leave a lasting impression. Give them when you arrive. It’s a nice touch and will leave a lasting impression that they will surely remember for a long time.
If you’re not sure about what to buy, just ask him. Keep things simple and don’t spend a ton of money.
While there, ask his parents questions. Show interest in his parents. Ask them about his childhood, their jobs, friends, and hobbies. Even if you’re nervous, that’ll be a great way to initiate your conversation. Commend them on how they raised their son.
While at home, offer to set the table or clean. Maybe his mother won’t take the offer, but it’ll show you’re willing to pitch in. You can also help to wash the dishes or cook if the parents don’t mind! Helping out shows that you’re a part of the family and not just an observer.
Public displays of affection (PDA) are better left at home. You don’t know how his family will take it, so I’d advise you to limit it and save it for later.
Show that you’re the best fit for him
His parents will like you if you make their son happy. Focus on getting to know them, and don’t worry much about impressing them. Be ready to answer any questions they’ll ask about you. Your family, where you were born, where you went to school, and where you’re working. Avoid swearing and over-sharing. Be polite and keep your answers respectful.
They may also want to know how committed you are to their son. If you feel uncomfortable, lean on your boyfriend for support and let him handle the difficult questions.
Stay away from sensitive topics like religion and politics, but be honest if they ask you about these topics. Keep it short and if they go deep into them, change the subject because you may have different views about them. You don’t want to be misquoted and/or misunderstood. Don’t overstay your visit. I’d suggest at most one week.
And I don’t think it is necessary for him to visit your home first before you go to his.
Naomi Makassi from Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, is a graduate of Rongo University who finds passion in helping young adults build successful relationships through writing.