“I didn’t die chasing fame. I died chasing hope.” Those haunting words, shared in a Facebook post on February 7 by Joe Mudikiza, popularly known as Butti, have taken on a heartbreaking meaning following his death.
The young man, a resident of Soweto in Lugari, Kakamega County, succumbed to complications related to sickle cell disease, a condition he courageously battled throughout his life.
Throughout his illness, Mudukiza, a first-born son of the late Meshark Kisuza Essendi from Soweto in Lumakanda, used social media to openly document the physical pain and emotional challenges of living with sickle cell disease, while also encouraging others facing difficult circumstances to remain hopeful.
In one of his widely shared posts, he described the condition as more than just an illness.
“Sickle Cell is not just an illness. It is a slow, merciless executioner,” he wrote, explaining that years of repeated hospital admissions, surgeries and recurring pain crises had left him physically and emotionally drained.
Despite the hardships, he often expressed faith that he would recover. Following one of his hospital stays, Mudukiza told his followers he had survived what he called the “darkest journey” of his life.
“The battle was real, but so is God’s faithfulness. No crisis can keep down someone built by God’s glory, sustained by His grace, and covered by His favor. The journey continues, fam,” he wrote.
However, his posts also revealed the emotional burden of living with a chronic illness. At one point, he disclosed that he had admitted himself to hospital after experiencing suicidal thoughts, using the opportunity to urge people to take mental health concerns seriously before it is too late.
“If mental health truly matters, then let it matter in real time. Show up when it’s uncomfortable. Care when it’s inconvenient. Listen when it’s messy and unfinished. Don’t wait until someone becomes a memory to finally treat them like they mattered,” he wrote.
In another post, Mudukiza apologised to friends who had been unable to reach him, explaining that he lacked the strength to respond because of the difficult season he was going through.
He also spoke about his desire to return to school and the newsroom, saying pain had changed his life but had not taken away his hope.
“Whatever battle you are facing today, illness, loss, poverty, heartbreak, or silent struggles no one else sees, remember this: resilience is born in the darkest moments. Your pain is not the end of your story,” he wrote.
As his condition worsened, Mudukiza appealed for financial assistance to purchase pain medication, describing the severe pain caused by sickle cell disease.
“Sickle cell pain is not a headache. It is bones breaking from the inside. It is fire in the blood. It is begging your own body to stop attacking you. Today, I didn’t live. I endured. Again,” he wrote in one of his final appeals.
His candid reflections attracted widespread support from followers, many of whom offered prayers, words of encouragement and financial assistance during his treatment.
Following news of his death, tributes have continued to pour in, with many remembering him for his courage, resilience and willingness to openly share his struggles in the hope of raising awareness about sickle cell disease and mental health.
Joe will be remembered not only for his courageous fight against sickle cell disease but also for the message of hope he continued to share despite enduring years of relentless pain.
