Hi Nao Mih,
My name is Clara. My husband and I recently engaged in a physical fight in the presence of our 11-year-old daughter due to some personal issue I don’t want to make public. We also exchanged very offensive words. He went ahead to lock me and my daughter out of the house. I am afraid this is awfully going to affect my little girl. Please advice.
Quite unfortunate this happens in front of your daughter. However, all is not lost and you can repair any damage caused to her by the two of your changing you behavior. Make sure to sit your husband down and explain. If it doesn’t work, just part ways and let your daughter grow in a healthy environment.
Also remember, on average, marriage, compared with other family living arrangements, appears to enhance a child’s well-being. Some of the positive associations between marriage and a child’s development come from a healthy relationship between parents.
This is so because children are great imitators of less-than-perfect behavior. If they see the two of you arguing constantly, calling each other names, putting each other down, or being physically abusive, they will probably copy the same.
Moreso, they will feel insecure and this might be reflected in poor grades, bad behavior at school or home, or may even lead to depression.
This is not the case in a home full of love and happiness. When a child grows up in such a home, they will learn to respect other people too. When they grow up, they will be able to build relationships with strong foundations of love and respect for others, and even their partners.
They will always look for places where there is love and respect because that is what they saw and felt when growing up.
When children are growing up, they are curious to learn new things. They often ask questions, which help in gaining knowledge, solving problems, developing great communication skills and making friends easily. This helps to boost their confidence. So make sure to have the right answers for you daughter when she asks about your relationship with her dad.
Keep in mind that a family that sticks together despite marital differences teaches children the importance of unity and solving problems before they get out of hand. The relationship with your spouse could have a big impact on your child. If they see the two of you getting along and supporting each other, they will mirror your behavior.
Hope this helps. Thanks for sharing and I wish you happiness in your marriage.
Naomi Makassi from Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, is a graduate of Rongo University who finds passion in helping young adults build successful relationships through writing.