Hae Nao Mih,
My name is Aaron. I am 24. There is this woman, 39, I have been dating for one year since I joined campus last year. She is the director of a certain private school here in town, so she has all the money. She has even paid full fees for my second year. Recently, she called me to break the news that she was pregnant with my baby. I didn’t see myself having a baby with a woman older than me. I am afraid to tell her to just terminate the pregnancy and break up with me because I have never loved her in the first place. What can I do?
Hi Aaron,
Life is a choice. We choose who we want to be with and what we want to have. Each and every choice that we make has its own consequences. It could be positive or negative.
That means in the future, before you choose to be with someone, take time to get to know them so that in case anything happens, you’ll know how to handle it.
In your case, dating an older woman is quite a hurdle considering the social stigma brought about by traditions, peer pressure, and conflicting interests between couples.
One positive thing is that, most of the time, an older woman is genuine and seeking commitment. That means she knows what she really wants. Unlike many small girls who play silly games, an older woman will go straight to the point and tell you what she wants from you.
These are the types of women who have more experience in life because they have lived longer. They have gone through relationships’ ups and downs and have a stronger grasp on what life has to offer.
Most of them handle issues in a mature way by talking about them, telling you what they think, and moving along once it has been discussed. So just sit down and have a conversation with your woman, ’cause I believe she is ready to listen.
Tell her how you feel and what you think about this. If she is mature enough, as I suppose, she will definitely respect your decision.
Aaron, I believe this woman wants the best for you. She has already paid your second year fees, as you stated. She is a woman who knows you need some education to be a better man, and she has offered to help you achieve this.
Before you think of ending this relationship, ask yourself why you started it in the first place. Are you with her for her money? Do you love her?
Whatever the reason, keep in mind that not all relationships are meant to last forever, and not all of them are supposed to lead to marriage. Sit down with her and have an adult conversation. I believe that all can be solved through candid talk.
If you realize you actually don’t love her, at least be man enough to raise your kid and be sure to break up with her in the most mature and honorable way.
Naomi Makassi from Kitale, Trans Nzoia County, is a graduate of Rongo University who finds passion in helping young adults build successful relationships through writing.